I want to rant verbally, but I cannot. I know I will only break down and cry myself to sleep.
There is just a lot in my head lately, most of them frustrations and irritations. They are mostly about graduate school, which is 85% of what defines the current me (the 15% I don’t exactly know for sure…). Everything that I do, or try to do, even the non-science stuff, always has some connection to grad school. I just can’t seem to escape.
I’m not very good with talking things out, especially when it comes to negative stuff. I don’t usually share my worries or complaints or disappointments. I just feel that other people already have their own personal problems and I don’t want to burden them with my petty rants. Add to that the fact that I always end up crying buckets and rambling on and on, always incoherently.
So, here I am in the open space of the world wide web, trying to make sense out of all this mess in my head. And even here, I cannot sort things out. But I feel much better. At least I am able to dump this ranting frustration online and leave it here. I just need to get hold of my non-grad school friend for a good, long phone call. We’ve been missing each other’s calls for the past week or so. Hopefully, it happens tonight. I know she wouldn’t mind hearing my incoherent ramblings. It’s always good to have a friend like that.